Ask any manager at what moments they feel most exhausted, and you will hear answers like too many meetings, unclear priorities, and an endless stream of urgent requests from above. All of these are real problems. But beneath them lies a different mechanism that is rarely named directly.
Exhaustion most often does not stem from the volume of work. It stems from where we direct our energy—specifically, from things we cannot control.
Three Zones of Attention
Psychologists work with a simple model that divides situations into three categories: CIA. The first is the zone of direct control—CONTROL—things that depend primarily on me: how I prepare for a meeting, how I give feedback, what I accomplish today. The second is the zone of influence—INFLUENCE—things I cannot manage directly but can impact: the attitudes of colleagues, decisions by superiors, or the overall mood in the company. The third is the zone of acceptance—ACCEPT—situations I can neither influence nor change: the macroeconomic environment, finalized board decisions, or an illness on the team.
The model itself is nothing new. What becomes interesting is what emerges when managers honestly map out where their thoughts and energy actually go.
The result is remarkably consistent: a disproportionately large share of mental capacity goes directly into the third zone.
Why This Is a Problem
The acceptance zone is an energy drain. Every hour spent dwelling on decisions made without us, on events that occurred and cannot be undone, or on factors beyond our reach yields a zero return. The situation does not change; the exhaustion does.
This is not about ignoring context or giving up on exerting influence. It is about making distinctions. A manager who spends an hour agonizing over a reorganization they cannot stop could have invested that hour into preparing their team for it. The outcome for the company is fundamentally different—and so is the impact on the manager's own capacity.
Chronic stress in leadership roles largely stems from this disconnect—not from the difficulty of the work itself, but from repeatedly investing energy where there is no return.
Practical Application
The CIA model is only valuable when applied to concrete situations, not as an abstract principle. Choose one issue that is currently weighing on you at work. Then ask yourself three questions:
Can I directly influence this through my actions? If yes, what specifically will you do?
If not, is there a way to influence it indirectly? Who should be involved, what should be communicated, and what arguments should be used?
If even that is impossible, what would it mean to truly accept this issue and stop carrying it around?
The third question is the hardest because acceptance is difficult to articulate within managerial culture. It is easily mistaken for resignation or indifference. It is neither. Acceptance does not mean agreement; it means a conscious decision to stop bearing the cost of a situation you cannot change.
Why This Isn't Done in Practice
Managers are paid to solve problems. This creates pressure to pay attention to everything that looks like a problem, regardless of whether it falls within their sphere of influence. Combine that with a culture where being prepared and informed signals competence, and you get an environment where dwelling on the unsolvable easily masquerades as responsibility.
The result is a manager who is mentally present everywhere, yet effectively present almost nowhere.
What This Means for Leadership
This mechanism does not operate solely at an individual level. A team whose manager chronically voices worries from the Acceptance zone adopts the exact same pattern. Regular comments about directives coming from above that cannot be changed, about unfair decisions, or about complex market conditions create a sense of helplessness across the team—not intentionally, but systematically.
Leadership consists largely of what a manager chooses to share versus what they keep to themselves. Consciously managing that boundary is one of the most concrete tools a leader possesses.
That is why running a monthly CIA exercise with your team is so valuable. Take post-it notes and have everyone write down what drains their energy the most. Then simply categorize each item under Control, Influence, or Accept. Just seeing it visually reduces the energy load and effectively redirects focus back toward the sphere of influence.